Closet gay dating

03-Feb-2018 08:22

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I don't believe in outing, and I don't think every gay person has to wear a rainbow banner or shout "I'm gay! It's the hiding and the lying that I object to, particularly in the absence of the threat of physical harm for being gay.To this day, I regret being that engaged man's accomplice in deceit.When he showed up, he was with his friend Jess, who, aside from the people he was out with the first night I laid eyes on him, was the only person in his life I would meet during our two years and four months of on and off and on again and off again. Jess knew Shane was gay, but all it took was one sentence uttered by her while Shane was in the restroom -- "He has a lot of stuff to work through before he can be with anyone" -- to tell me she had no idea he and I were a couple.I wondered if he'd brought her along because he didn't want to give anyone else that impression either.Although I didn't ask how he'd stolen away unseen, it bothered me that he'd had to.Secret love has given us some beautiful music over the decades, but they've almost always been sad songs.

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After reading his text detailing his dilemma, I suggested lying.

I wasn't exactly sad with Shane, but our relationship was unlike any I'd been in before.

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